Toronto – An area Maple Leafs fan is convinced that finally, this will be their year as they ready themselves for a run at year 59 of their Stanley Cup drought. Many fans are reeling from the loss of Mitch Marner through a trade with Vegas, however, a healthy Auston Matthews has expectations foolishly getting…
Minneapolis, MN – Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy is expected to miss week 3 against the Cincinnati Bengals after dealing with an ankle sprain after the teams ridiculous and somewhat hilarious loss to the Falcons on Sunday Night Football. If J.J. is unable to go Sunday, Vikings HC Kevin O’Connell will look to veteran Carson Wentz…
Charlotte, NC – The Carolina Panthers are taking a cue from the Philadelphia Eagles recent partnership with Dude Wipes and have announced that Flex Seal will be the official sponsor of their offensive line through the 2029 season. Earlier this year, the Eagles announced that their famous play the ‘Tush Push’ will be sponsored by…
Santa Clara, CA – Injuries continue to plague the San Francisco 49ers as they send both TE George Kittle and Head Groundskeeper Matt Greiner to the IR with unspecified injuries. Reporting suggests that Kittle is dealing with a hamstring injury after leaving Sunday’s game against the Seahawks in the second quarter. The team has not…
If you head to the Chicago Bears Pro Shop, searching for products that will really drive home (with annoying determination) your fandom, you will find the amazing ‘Chicago Bears 8′ Inflatable Crazy Sports Fan’. With eye black under his dead and soulless eyes, neighbors will be forcibly made aware of the love you have for…
Dallas Cowboys owner and generally unlikable curmudgeon Jerry Jones has begun implementing a plan to ban fans from entering AT&T Stadium this season if they can’t provide evidence of their love for the Queen Latifah led show, The equalizer, which was recently cancelled by CBS. Jerry Jones has been extra sensitive in recent weeks, as…
O.J. Simpson has decided to abandon the afterlife and continue searching for the real killer, as promised after his acquittal from the 1995 double murder trial. “I know he is still out there, and I was so close to finding him before that reaper man found me” said O.J. through a totally reliable and scientifically…
Fans of the Chicago Bears are high on the teams chances this year, even though recent history suggests that this is a stupid idea. The Bears have added highly sought after and respected first time head coach Ben Johnson to take over the development of first round pick Caleb Williams in the latter’s second year….
Kansas City – Local man Dale Lunkmore has taken to his social media accounts to express how little he cares about the engagement of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. Lunkmore has made sure to share his feelings with the Twitter (or X, if you are a ding-dong), BlueSky, Facebook, Reddit, and even the comment section…
Owings Mills, MD – Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh took in his yearly pre-season meal with the King of Demons, Asmodeus, at a Fox Ridge Olive Garden on Tuesday night. The yearly meal has been a ritual of Coach Harbaugh’s since his first superbowl appearance in 2013, and the two have remained close ever…