Fans of the Chicago Bears are high on the teams chances this year, even though recent history suggests that this is a stupid idea. The Bears have added highly sought after and respected first time head coach Ben Johnson to take over the development of first round pick Caleb Williams in the latter’s second year. They also did this with Matt (everything is a stupid acronym) Eberflus and Justin Fields, as well as Matt (run another screen play) Nagy and Mitchell Trubisky before that. Seriously, the exact same stupid thing, hiring a head coach to take over and “develop” a first round QB in their second season under center. No, really – this is the third new HC in a row coming into that same situation.
Bears fan sobering up and no longer able to suppress memories of the double doink with Hamm’s and Malort
Fans cite recent additions to the offensive line, such as first team All-Pro guard Joe Thuney, and center Drew Dalman. Other improvements to the offense include first round pick Colston Loveland, who is expected to contribute immediately. “Ben Johnson was the most sought after coaching candidate in the offseason, and the Bears went out and GOT HIM. They don’t usually do things like this, it feels different this time around” said the author of this article, sounding like an idiot. “I have watched the Bears for a very long time, and they usually do not get the guy that everybody else wanted while also making improvements in areas that were glaringly weak and in obvious need of change” continued the dumb ass ding dong. When asked by his wife if he remembers thinking similar things before the start of previous seasons, he said “that was different, come on, what are you doing to me?”
Fans of the bears are also excited that the new pope, a Bob from the Southside, is probably a Bears fan. At the time of writing, the author’s wife reminded him that he is also a fellow Sox fan, and even his relationship with God has done jack shit to help us with that one, so don’t get your hopes up.
