Santa Clara, CA – Injuries continue to plague the San Francisco 49ers as they send both TE George Kittle and Head Groundskeeper Matt Greiner to the IR with unspecified injuries. Reporting suggests that Kittle is dealing with a hamstring injury after leaving Sunday’s game against the Seahawks in the second quarter. The team has not disclosed Greiner’s injury, but Vice President and Senior Advisor to the General Manager, Keena Turner, did provide a cryptic update to reporters on Sunday. “Matt is dealing with an injury that could have been prevented, but was hilarious to see in person”. When pressed for more information and how this may affect the team, Turner could only give a “he said he tripped” answer through stifled laughter.
The injury we hope Greiner suffered and not the inappropriate and disgusting option Turner is alluding to
“People fall on things all the time” said ER physician Dr. Howard Cooperman, while finger quoting the word fall. “We keep a box of what they fall on (again using finger quotes) in a box in my office.” Cooperman continued on, adamantly, that it was not disgusting and that “people like to collect things, this is no different” (editors note – it is in fact different).
When asked how these injuries could impact the team, Turner praised Greiner for his years of hard work and had full confidence that his staff could keep the field up to par in his absence. At the time of publishing, Brock Purdy is also dealing with shoulder and toe injuries, and is questionable for the teams week 2 matchup in New Orleans.
