After attending a birthday party for the son of a low level MLB staffer, commissioner Rob Manfred reportedly told those close to him that he had plans to improve upon the classic Whac-A-Mole game, despite being told repeatedly that the game needs no improvements. It was reported by one of the few sober parents at the Chuck E. Cheese Long Island location, where the party was being held, that Manfred expressed multiple frustrations while watching the children at play. Apparently he took issue with the amount of time in between whacks, the trading of tickets between children attempting to cash in for bigger prizes, and the amount of times parents would repeatedly check on their kids who were busy with said game.
Manfred berating kids for taking too long in between whacks.
Manfred has already begun discussions with random people in the lobby at CEC Entertainment Inc., regarding a possible merger between CEC and MLB. Those close to the situation claim that the conversations between assistants to Manfred and CEC franchise owners have stalled. There is reportedly too much time being spent attempting to explain, to no avail, that Manfred has no ownership stake nor responsibility to try and improve an already perfect game, for a totally unrelated company and industry. “This has only caused him to really dig his heels in, and I doubt we will see him back down from this one, at least until the franchise agreements are up for renewal in 2027” an anonymous source with ties to both sides said.
“Revenues are at record highs, and although attendance is down, we are making cash hand over fist here. Why mess with that?” said Beverly Galford, owner of three C.E.C. locations. She continued on, as the frustration became more palpable in her voice, that she “hasn’t been this annoyed since they attempted to add a 5th ninja turtle to the already legendary arcade game in 1995.” Manfred has never been one to shy away from thinking outside the box, even when those around him obviously know better. The year was 2010, and a bored Manfred found himself stuck on a tarmac at J.F.K. due to inclement weather. The 8 hour delay was more than enough time to get the gears grinding for Manfred, and he went to work on what he believed was a billion dollar idea. He reached out to then commissioner Bud Selig, rambling about a blanket that you could put your arms through, calling it a “reverse robe.” It would be three years before Selig had the heart to tell him about the Snuggie, and he regrets it to this day: “Rob is a good guy, hard worker, heart of gold. I couldn’t break it to him, I knew how much it would hurt him.” Selig then revealed that this was what pushed him to groom Manfred to eventually take his place, figuring that “there is no way he can mess up labor relations any more than I have.”
*At the time of publication, Manfred could not be reached for comment, although his office did insist that he had a brilliant idea for an orange cloth that could absorb any and all spills, and it would have us saying “wow” in no time.
