Houston – The Tennessee Titans lost their week 4 matchup with the Houston Texans, 26-0, much to the surprise of Titans QB Cam Ward. “We ass” Ward said after the game. “We keep it fizzy fizzy buck naw, we playing like Mr. Mint in Candyland, tripping over everything” he said. The Titans are 0-4 on…
New York – While some teams fanbases are preparing to make their run at the fall classic, Mets followers have a different plan. “Hope is just another blown save waiting to happen,” said Long Island resident Vinny Cavalogne. “We have seen this movie before, less than 10 games left, in a spot for the playoffs, then…
Tom Brady, now part of the top pairing for Fox Sunday NFL broadcasts, said another ridiculous thing during his coverage of the Bears vs Cowboys during the week 3 matchup. Dallas WR George Pickens got upset, assumably after spending thousands on Pokemon cards and only getting Squirtles, slammed his helmet down. Now, this is a…
Las Vegas – Raiders owner Mark Davis and his $2.5 Billion net worth prove to be more important than his Simple Jack haircut to his dating life. In a shock to absolutely no one ever, the billionaire has been spotted with an attractive younger female who he claims, you guessed it, likes him for his…
Miami – Week 3 brought another loss for the Dolphins, who are now 0-3 on the season. During the post game press conference, head coach Mike McDaniel admitted that the team was still ‘tanking for Tua’, the running theme of the 2019 season. When pressed on ‘what the hell he was talking about’, it became…
Denver – An investigation into the front office of the Denver Nuggets has shown an intention to keep payments to Nikola Jokic through a Conoco gas station secret, where he is a current employee. The appearance of ill intent was quickly refuted as it appears he is actually showing up to his scheduled shifts. “What…
Toronto – An area Maple Leafs fan is convinced that finally, this will be their year as they ready themselves for a run at year 59 of their Stanley Cup drought. Many fans are reeling from the loss of Mitch Marner through a trade with Vegas, however, a healthy Auston Matthews has expectations foolishly getting…
Minneapolis, MN – Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy is expected to miss week 3 against the Cincinnati Bengals after dealing with an ankle sprain after the teams ridiculous and somewhat hilarious loss to the Falcons on Sunday Night Football. If J.J. is unable to go Sunday, Vikings HC Kevin O’Connell will look to veteran Carson Wentz…
Charlotte, NC – The Carolina Panthers are taking a cue from the Philadelphia Eagles recent partnership with Dude Wipes and have announced that Flex Seal will be the official sponsor of their offensive line through the 2029 season. Earlier this year, the Eagles announced that their famous play the ‘Tush Push’ will be sponsored by…
Santa Clara, CA – Injuries continue to plague the San Francisco 49ers as they send both TE George Kittle and Head Groundskeeper Matt Greiner to the IR with unspecified injuries. Reporting suggests that Kittle is dealing with a hamstring injury after leaving Sunday’s game against the Seahawks in the second quarter. The team has not…