New York – While some teams fanbases are preparing to make their run at the fall classic, Mets followers have a different plan. “Hope is just another blown save waiting to happen,” said Long Island resident Vinny Cavalogne. “We have seen this movie before, less than 10 games left, in a spot for the playoffs, then we blow it”. “Just like my last 3 stepdads, this team ain’t coming back” stated Vinny, while under the hood of his rusty 88 Chevrolet Camaro. “At least we ain’t the Pirates”.
The feelings are mutual across the boroughs and Jersey, as the team debates even selling playoff tickets in advance. We reached out to David Stearns, President, Baseball Operations, to see why there has been delay in offering wild card tickets to the fanbase. “Eh, I got a lot to do, I’m not even thinking about that now” Stearns stated. He continued on after some additional prodding, lamenting that “is a lot of work that goes unappreciated and ends up being unnecessary as well. Have you seen this bullpen? Not happening”.
A dejected fan still coming to terms with the Mets collapse and Ricky Martin’s homosexuality
The Met’s have gone 8-12 in their last 20 games, to the surprise of literally no one. Seriously, no one. The Mets traded for Cardinals closer Ryan Helsley in July, which was considered a good move at the time. Even though he was expected to be serviceable and help an ailing bullpen, he has stunk worse than the bathrooms at Coney Island after the Fourth of July. Frankie Montas was an off-season addition brought in to bolster a rotation expected to help the team compete for the N.L East title, has an impressive -0.7 WAR and fans have been resoundingly whelmed. Maybe next year, or the year after that, or even possibly the year after that, we will see this team get it right. Until then, stock up on Prozac, Tums, and rewatch the 86 series to see what once was.
