Los Angeles – Rams star wide receiver Puka Nacua has announced that he is now under the mentorship of controversial (to normal people) former NFL star Antonio Brown. “I have learned so much in the past 3 days since he has taken me under his wing, I have so much more to learn” said Nacua…
Miami – Police have announced that former Heat star and current Golden States Warriors small forward Jimmy Butler is no longer a ‘person of interest’ in the investigation into the house fire that destroyed coach Erik Spoelstra’s Miami home. Butler, who led the Heat to two separate NBA finals appearances, was well known in Miami…
Kansas City – The Chiefs have welcomed back wide receiver Rashee Rice, who was serving a suspension for his involvement in a chain-reaction crash due to his reckless high speed racing on a Dallas highway. After much hesitance, team trainers allowed Rice to drive a staffer’s golf cart, which ended in disaster. Rice, with blood…
Portland – FanDuel has announced that it plans to sponsor the impending trial of Portland Trailblazers coach Chauncey Billups, after Billups was arrested as part of an FBI investigation into illegal sports gambling. The NBA, who has never, ever, ever, ever had a gambling scandal, has decided to monetize on the incident by allowing FanDuel…
Houston – The Tennessee Titans lost their week 4 matchup with the Houston Texans, 26-0, much to the surprise of Titans QB Cam Ward. “We ass” Ward said after the game. “We keep it fizzy fizzy buck naw, we playing like Mr. Mint in Candyland, tripping over everything” he said. The Titans are 0-4 on…
Toronto – An area Maple Leafs fan is convinced that finally, this will be their year as they ready themselves for a run at year 59 of their Stanley Cup drought. Many fans are reeling from the loss of Mitch Marner through a trade with Vegas, however, a healthy Auston Matthews has expectations foolishly getting…
Charlotte, NC – The Carolina Panthers are taking a cue from the Philadelphia Eagles recent partnership with Dude Wipes and have announced that Flex Seal will be the official sponsor of their offensive line through the 2029 season. Earlier this year, the Eagles announced that their famous play the ‘Tush Push’ will be sponsored by…
Kansas City – Local man Dale Lunkmore has taken to his social media accounts to express how little he cares about the engagement of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. Lunkmore has made sure to share his feelings with the Twitter (or X, if you are a ding-dong), BlueSky, Facebook, Reddit, and even the comment section…
The NFL wants its players to have fun, but not too much fun, but, some fun, not so much on the field, but maybe off the field, depending on how good the player is. Such ambiguous directions could only come down from the league office, which they did on Thursday. Celeb rations simulating the shooting…
Fifth round draft pick Shedeur Sanders has fans across the “greater” Cleveland area able to adequately contain their excitement for the upcoming NFL season. With the possibility of a playoff appearance definitely not weighing on their minds, Cleveland again has little to look forward. As Akron native Billy “Bernie” Edwards said, “Well maybe Sanders can…