Indianapolis – Former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez (and the unofficial mascot of this website due to his infamous butt fumble) was involved in an altercation last weekend that left the former first rounder in the hospital with stab wounds. Witnesses say that Sanchez, after attacking a door dash driver for parking in a way not to his liking, said “what are you going to do, stab me?” before receiving the sharp end of the driver’s pocket knife. Former Jets coach Rex Ryan, who coached Sanchez in New York from 2009 – 2013, lamented that he had never taken the thought of stabbing him too seriously, but in hindsight wishes he had taken the opportunity himself before the 2012 season. “That turd cost me my job, it wasn’t my inconsistency and lack of football acumen, it was and will always be his poor quarterback play” Rex Ryan said in the comment section of a foot fetish porn hub video. “Oh yeah, look at those stinky little piggies” he also said, leading us to believe he was no longer on the topic of Sanchez.
Rex Ryan (presumably aroused) after instituting his no shoes in the press room policy in 2011
The stabbing came as a shock to some folks, I guess, but not his ex girlfriend Erin Campaneris, who claims that sadly none of it was shocking to her. The former couple share an 8 year old son, who Campaneris states has often thought about stabbing his dad himself. Sanchez is yet to appear in court, although early indications seem to point to him as the aggressor. When reached for commet, former USC coach Pete Carroll could only laugh and repeatedly say “I told you he was a bitch”. No former teammates wanted to comment on the record, with some stating that “we want to hold the right to stick him in the future” as the reason why.
