Tom Brady Probably Beats His Dog

Brady outside a local Human Society eyeing his future victims

Tom Brady, now part of the top pairing for Fox Sunday NFL broadcasts, said another ridiculous thing during his coverage of the Bears vs Cowboys during the week 3 matchup. Dallas WR George Pickens got upset, assumably after spending thousands on Pokemon cards and only getting Squirtles, slammed his helmet down. Now, this is a real quote said by Brady, not something magically conjured up by your humble narrator: “Those helmets can be … it’s like the dog at home….Kick the dog, throw the helmet, whatever it takes.”

Will anything come from this? Probably not, the phrase is apparently a metaphor for displaced anger, or taking out aggression on a defenseless target. I don’t really give a crap, way bigger things to worry about. Just give us back Greg Olson with Kevin Burkhardt and let’s all move on. Brady can go away, find a new wife to neglect and disappoint, and peddle some snack oil TB12 supplements with all of his money and scalpeled good looks.

Ha, butt fumble. Give me that email.

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