Kansas City – The Chiefs have welcomed back wide receiver Rashee Rice, who was serving a suspension for his involvement in a chain-reaction crash due to his reckless high speed racing on a Dallas highway. After much hesitance, team trainers allowed Rice to drive a staffer’s golf cart, which ended in disaster. Rice, with blood lust in his eyes, ran over the water station after racing two other golf carts that weren’t even moving. After hitting the water station, he swerved to avoid Andy Reid which caused him to collide with fans in attendance. Rice offered to pay a small portion of their medical bills, and also offered to sign their casts once they “got the hell out of here and went to the doctor. Not the expensive one down the street, maybe a vet, or something like that”. Chiefs general manager Brett Veach, after conferring with commissioner Goodell, told everyone in attendance that “there is nothing to see here, he is good at football and he has money, so according to the NFL he can get away with almost anything”.
Come on, this looks ridiculous…..looking forward to the inevitable NFL gambling scandal that is sure to come
His return is a much needed boost to the Chiefs offense, who were doing fine anyways without him. Quarterback Patrick Mahomes, when asked about Rice’s return, said in a Kermit voice “he is the Chiefiest Chief that has ever Chiefed, and people were starting to get suspicious of all of the calls we were getting in his absence. His return is long overdue.” Mahomes continued on, mentioning without prodding, that “Rice is like a brother, much more so than my actual dumbass brother….also, I kind of hate my wife”.
