The release of over 50 rehabbed tortoises back into the wild at Shaquille O’Neal’s turtle sanctuary ended in disaster as the former NBA Hall of Famer insisted upon a direct to water release. The volunteer staffers, horrified by the actions of their owner, were able to re-rescue about a dozen of the shelled critters once the mistake was realized.
Shaq accepting a never issued challenge from Joey Chestnut to a hot dog eat off
After his HOF NBA career in which he won titles with both the Lakers and Heat, Shaq turned his attention to tortoises. To date, his ‘Broken Tortoise Shaq-uary’ has successfully rehabilitated and released more than 450 tortoises and turtles back into the wild. Shaq shows his love for the stompy fellas by overseeing the occasional release, but due to his usual handler being out due to a bath salts hangover, things went quickly awry. Even though the Broken Tortoise Shaq-uary has been open for over 10 years, staffers say he still struggles with the fundamental differences between tortoises and turtles. When attempts are made at educating Shaq on the difference, his eyes seem to glaze over as he focuses instead on how much he loves them because “they also have trouble getting up when they fall on their backs”.
In an attempt to ease staffers anguish at the loss of their upside down bowl buddies, Shaq has been handing out colorings of his from a toddler coloring book purchased from Piggly Wiggly.
A staffer shared this coloring they received from Shaq
When reached for comment, Mr. O’Neal only focused on the coloring book, because, as he says, “they don’t have blue shells, that’s just crazy”. It is worth noting that staffers are horrified and extremely concerned by any and all future water releases, as he is STILL struggling with the fundamental differences between tortoises and turtles. Future plans are in place to distract him with episodes of Living Single when release plans are put in place.
