Los Angeles – Rams star wide receiver Puka Nacua has announced that he is now under the mentorship of controversial (to normal people) former NFL star Antonio Brown. “I have learned so much in the past 3 days since he has taken me under his wing, I have so much more to learn” said Nacua in between sips of the fictional drink ‘Fight Milk’ from the hit TV show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (how did he even get that??). “AB said I have tons of potential and he can’t wait to see what else I can do” he continued on, somehow misspelling the words he spoke. Nacua has drawn criticism this week for his vocal complaints about league officiating, an antisemitic gesture on a podcast, and his claim that concussions aren’t real. He also, seriously, claimed he doesn’t eat vegetables because they cause inflation, much to the ‘what the hell is he talking about’ chagrin of doctors all over.
Charlie and Mac from Always Sunny, hawking their fictional drink, with somehow more science sense and cred than Nacua
Brown has been quiet about his new role as mentor, as he fights attempted murder charges in Miami. “You all ain’t seen nothing yet” Brown said while also somehow drinking fight milk. “He still don’t even carry a gun but he is working on his domestic abuse charges, you all will see” he continued on while hiding behind a Rams facility garbage can wearing only an old pair of game day pants and assumably evading security. When reached for comment, Rams HC Sean McVay could only mutter “Jesus Fucking Christ” under his breath while shaking his head.
